LAVONNE E. (WOESSNER) MARTIN
LaVonne is now a grandmother, the culmination of her love for her family and a reward for her devotion and dedication. She was taught to work hard, and amount to something - a philosophy advocated by her father, and one that undoubtedly influenced how she ultimately dealt with the blows life delivered. Not only did she follow that philosophy for herself, but drove it home to her daughters. Lew's focus in life has been her family _ her parents, brothers, husband, children and grandchildren. Her life has been one of service to those she loves and has been cheerfully and energetically given.
LaVonne was born March 30, l924 at her grandmother's house in Shannon Ill. Her parents lived on a farm about 3 miles from town, but in the spring of the year the mud roads became very difficult to travel. Because Iva's (LaVonne's mother) first child had been over 10 pounds and a difficult forceps delivery, the young couple undoubtedly thought it would be better for the prospective mother to be closer to the doctor. (Kenneth, LaVonne's older brother had been born on May 5, 1922.)
LaVonne's parents, Howard Woessner and Iva Shirk were, both natives of Shannon. Howard the son of a prosperous farmer was big, strong and very absorbed in farming. Iva Shirk grew up in Shannon having very little experience with farm life. She was pretty, popular, and not accustomed to the hard work of being a farm wife. She adjusted, but it was not easy. Iva was raised in a very religious family with daily devotions and grace before each meal. Her father often spoke in churches, and "pow wowed" for people to relieve them of their illnesses.
Lavonne grew up to be an active little girl _ almost a tomboy _ she loved physical play and romping with her brothers. (Another brother, Bill joined the family 3 years after LaVonne's birth). On one occasion she and her brother Kenneth poked holes in a pail of eggs that were to be sold at the local store. They no doubt had to line up to be spanked, but it was great fun.
She attended the Evergreen School located on what is now the Lawrence Woessner farm. Since the school was located 2 miles from their home, they had to be transported by their parents. School was fun for her, and her teachers have said that she was a real joy to teach. LaVonne has always been a very social person, and probably school was one of the first opportunities for this little farm girl to associate with other people on a regular basis.
Tragedy was to strike this happy little girl and her family. At the age of eight, she was afflicted with osteomyelitis in the left hip. They first thought it was rheumatism and treated it accordingly. The pain was severe. She was taken to a doctor in Freeport who operated on her and drained a quart of pus from her thigh. The opening was packed with sterile gauze of which 2_3 inches was removed daily. This procedure necessitated her being hospitalized for a month. LaVonne was placed in a cast that extended from under her arms to the bottom of her left leg. It took three people to give her a bath because she needed to be handled very carefully. She could not turn over or sit up. Her leg was kept in traction so that it would not become too short. Traction was applied by taping the apparatus to her leg and hanging a weight over the edge of the bed. The foot end of the bed was elevated about 10_12 inches.
It was not easy for Mother Iva to keep this little girl content in such extreme confinement. Since she was literally tied down in bed and suffered severe pain, she would at times become hysterical. Her mother would go to the field and get her father who would joke with her, pretending that he was spanking her mother in order to distract her from the pain. Her only outings were trips to the doctor on an ironing board to get X_rays. Her bed was placed in the room near the kitchen where her mother could keep close watch over her. She was helpless and needed complete care. Mother Iva would become so exhausted at times that she could hardly move.
The year was 1933. Farmers were in the depth of the Great Depression when the bottom fell out of farm prices. LaVonne's parents were in the midst of troubles on many fronts _ their daughter was very ill. She was vulnerable to other diseases _ her life, in fact was precariously balanced, and now the economy was in serious trouble as well.
Aunt Mabelle Woessner was a teacher, but unable to get a job that year. Fortunately she consented to live with the family, and teach LaVonne as well as help with her care. LaVonne was a good student and was happy to have the school work to occupy her time.
Area friends were very supportive and would visit her often. This was particularly true of the Johnson family who lived on a nearby farm. Raymond Schoonhoven, a hired man who lived with the Woessner family would often entertain LaVonne in the evening. He was a good musician. He loved singing Country Western music, and played both the accordion and mouth organ. LaVonne managed to entertain herself by listening to the radio, and becoming a Chicago Cub fan.
Fortunately, the leg did heal well in spite of the fact that there were no antibiotics to help her body fight the infection. After nine months in bed at the tender age of nine the bone had grown back in her hip, but the leg was three inches shorter than the right one. The hip was stiff and could not be bent beyond a 45 degree angle.
Since pieces of dead bone remained imbedded in the flesh, the dead bone would decay and form pus which would accumulate in a boil_like sore. Her father would sterilize a razor blade, and with a shaking hand would cut open the boils. Wet heat would then have to be applied daily for about 15 minutes to keep it from closing. This was done until her surgery in Chicago at the age of 17.
The shortness of the leg necessitated a built_up shoe which at first was very crude, made of cork, and covered with leather. As she walked down the street people would turn to look, and her mother would say, "I wish they wouldn't do that." LaVonne would say, "It doesn't bother me". Boots were impossible for her to wear since she couldn't get them over the built_up shoe. Her thigh continued to drain for many years, and she suffered many painful nights, but this did not drain her spirit or her smile for she was a winner and would ultimately walk and play with other children her age.. (As Aunt Carrie [Iva's sister] often said , "I will not let this get me down",_ another philosophy that LaVonne seemed to have adopted
On July 6, when LaVonne was eleven years old, a brother Jim was born. She had the good fortune of having a real live doll to play with and care for. Mother and daughter both enjoyed the experience of raising little Jim.
Her parents were no doubt very concerned about her leg, but still required her to shoulder her share of the household duties. She learned to cook at an early age, and often prepared the evening meal while her parents were in Freeport.
Driving the tractor in the summer on the grain binder and hay fork was part of her contribution to the farming operation. LaVonne's parents didn't expect her to do heavy work, but assigned her a share of the responsibilities in the work of the farm. LaVonne was undoubtedly permanently affected by this strategy. She has never seen herself as handicapped, and as a result has assumed a constructive normal life. She became a master at finding ways to compensate for tasks that were not easy for her.
LaVonne was given the nickname LEW while she was in high school from a pin she wore which carried her initials LEW (LaVonne Eleanor Woessner). LaVonne doesn't particularly like the nick name, but it has stuck with her none_the_less. She had several other nick names. Her father called her "Ann", brother Kenneth "Princess", Aunt Carrie "Bonnie" and brothers Bill and Jim called her "Sister", Jim still does.
LaVonne was a driver and not only survived a difficult childhood disease, but managed to become president of her class and participated in 3 class plays. By the end of her senior year she was named valedictorian of her class in Shannon High School. There were some mighty proud parents and relatives at that commencement exercise to hear her as she gave her speech. Now their little girl with the big smile was grown and being honored by her school. They had come a long way.
LaVonne still had pieces of bone festering and working out of her thigh after graduation from high school. A doctor in Chicago examined her, and thought he could fix the draining problem, but there would be a risk to her life. LaVonne was willing to accept the risk. Dangerous cutting needed to be done in an area where there were many blood vessels and arteries, but the operation was a success. The dead bone had been removed, and the drainage stopped within a month. The doctor was very proud of the work he had done, and brought many young interns in to see what he had accomplished. The doctor said he could shorten her other leg to make her even, but she said, "No! Leave my good leg alone." After the operation she recovered rapidly. She had been home only one week when some friends asked her to go out. Without hesitation she agreed to go, with Mother Iva expressing concern about her over_extending herself so soon after surgery.
LaVonne's parents were anxious that she continue her education. They wanted to prevent her from ever having to make a living by doing hard physical labor, and now with the successful surgery behind her, LaVonne and her parents felt that it would be safe to send her away to college in Naperville, Ill. She had not fully recovered from the operation, and the wound in her thigh was still draining when she went off to college.
Because there had been considerable doubt about her being able to attend North Central College so soon after surgery, she had not been registered for school in September. However, she was assigned a dorm room. Lew's roommate was a wonderful young woman who would become her life_long friend - Avis Hosbach from Erie, Pennsylvania. College and life took on a whole new appearance now and became great fun for her. She loved dorm life. LaVonne encountered new experiences, new friends, and began her studies in Home Economics Education.
These were the war years. World War II had caused many of the college boys to leave campus to serve their country. As a result, there was a shortage of male companionship causing the social life to be a bit abnormal, but the girls made of the best of the situation. Stage plays and other events in Chicago were pleasurable. One outing that LaVonne's friends always seemed to enjoy was to visit her family on the farm. Since Avis lived far away she became a frequent visitor. It was an uplifting experience for her family to have these young college girls come home. Brother Bill especially enjoyed socializing and dancing with the young co_eds.
After graduating from college with her degree in Home Economics, LaVonne and Avis managed to land teaching jobs in Milton, Wisconsin. They found lodging with the Rassmusssen family near the high school. Things were really falling into place for them except that they now needed to find some form of transportation (the business areas were far from school). LaVonne purchased a motorized bicycle with a side car from Rev. Church in Shannon. These two new teachers created quite a spectacle riding around town in their very unconventional mode of travel in a very conservative community.
LaVonne was a natural teacher. She thoroughly enjoyed her job, and associating with the other young women teachers in the area. They formed a social club called the HH group (Husband Hunters). Bob Shorey, a social studies teacher had come to town, and he looked to many of them like a good prospect. He was personable and very eligible, but turned his attentions to a young college girl who was practice teaching in his class. He dated none of the "HH'ers". What a blow!.
Little did LaVonne know that I was about to come to her rescue driving in with my old 1934 Chevrolet. LaVonne needed a means of transportation to visit her home economics projects in the country. After telling the Superintendent, Mr. Dorr, her problem, he volunteered my services. He probably figured I was getting some money for traveling expenses so he might as well get his money's worth. (I don't think he had match making in mind.)
Not much happened during our first tour of projects, but I will admit that she was an impressive girl. She wore a big smile, was very neat and well dressed. She walked with a limp, but this did not in any way detract from her appearance. The eating facilities near the school were not good so the single teachers had permission to eat in the Home Economics room. The Home Ec. teacher planned the menu, and purchased the food. We divided the cost of the food among ourselves. I was impressed with how much she ate for such a little girl.
In the days that followed we saw a great deal of each other. The spark seemed to be growing into a flame. I found this little girl to be a very loving and affectionate person. (This has been a binding force in our marriage.) Before the snow fell Lew was going to Bloomington to meet my parents. My little brother Bud looked as if to say, "What is she doing around here!" Grandma Harris didn't approve of this relationship in the least, and quickly let her feelings be known. She was of the opinion that two people who limped were sure to have lame kids, and this would never do. In contrast to Grandma, my parents were cordial. Surprisingly, Grandma Harris and Lew were later to become very good friends.
At Christmas time it was my turn to go to Shannon. When I drove into the farm yard at Shannon I noticed one of the largest corn cribs I had ever seen. Lew had her hair done, and was waiting for me to arrive. Mother Iva was a pretty lady with silver white hair. She immediately sent us off to the store to buy groceries. I suppose she thought that we wanted to be alone. This was a very comfortable farm home with the conventional cook stove, refrigerator, electric range, couch and a well worn kitchen table and chairs. Father Howard was a big man with a friendly smile. Ken and Bill appeared to be shy. Little Jim with the big glasses looked as if to say, "I don't know about this guy". I was surprised at the bountiful meals and lunches. Breakfast consisted of potatoes, eggs, bacon, toast, cereal, juice and coffee. Lunch (sandwiches, rolls or cookies) was at mid morning. The noon meal included delicious roast beef, potatoes, vegetable, and pie. Lunch was served again in the middle of the afternoon, and in the evening we sat down to another big meal. When I went out with the boys to do chores, it became obvious that they needed the food to provide energy, for there was heavy work to be done in carrying feed to cattle. Those calories appeared to be well used, because none of these men were overweight.
In January, I made a very romantic proposal as we came back from Whitewater by saying, "Shall we get married this summer?" Much to my surprise she said yes without any hesitation. The wedding date was set for June 20th. Lew wanted a big wedding and planned to make her own dress. I am sure that her parents had doubts about this guy they had seen only a couple of times.
Lew was a very special person to all of the members of her family. Her older brothers Ken and Bill enjoyed her companionship, and had great fun going with her to shows and Rural Youth dances. LaVonne had helped raise brother Jim. As a result, she was like a second mother to him, and he has always held a special place in her heart. Her parents had seen her through extremely difficult times and were very proud of what she had accomplished. For Mother Iva, the tears were hard to fight back. LaVonne, her only daughter, helper, and loyal friend would be making a home of her own and she would miss her greatly.
The wedding took place in the Evangelical Church in Shannon on a warm June 20, 1947. Her best friend Avis was matron of honor. Murray Rassmussen, the son of the people she roomed with in Milton sang a solo. The church was filled with flowers, many of them home grown. Rev. Paul Church, their very popular minister, performed the ceremony. There was a good representation of guests from Shannon, Bloomington, and Milton.
We began married life with our honeymoon in Niagara Falls and then headed back to Milton where we had rented a very comfortable house. LaVonne enjoyed being a homemaker along with her teaching. Being a very competent and efficient individual, she handled it well. About once a month she needed to go back to Shannon to visit her family, but that didn't present a problem.
Honeymoon - Niagara Falls
I was not happy with teaching, and after two years took a job with the Agriculture Department of the Milwaukee Railroad. Our new home in Elgin was an upstairs apartment with no hot water and a coal burning heating stove. This stove was a real trial for Lew. The stove took so long to start, that she nearly froze by the time she got it to the point where it would put out heat. However, new owners of the apartment soon provided us with hot water and an oil burning space heater.
Once we were settled into our life in Elgin, Lew began to think about having a baby, and soon our first child was on the way. Not being one to sit around, the young mother-to-be got a job in the nearby watch factory (because the baby was due in April, teaching was not a possibility). At first, morning sickness was a problem to her, but it lasted only a short time. We were happy in our meager apartment, and looked forward to the arrival of our first baby.
On April 13, 1949 we became the parents of a cute little black haired girl, Sandra Kay. Up to this point the domestic responsibilities had been no problem to my young wife, but the challenge of raising this little one gave us both all we could handle. She was a seemingly healthy baby, but cried long and loud. When I walked in the door at night Lew would say, "Take this kid, I have had it!" We lived through her early months, and she proved to be a surprisingly happy little girl. She became the apple of our eyes.
Grandfather Howard too was very taken with his first grandchild. He had not shown a great deal of affection for his own children, but this little granddaughter was in a class by herself.
In the early part of 1950, we were faced with what proved to be a major decision in our lives. The railroad was in the process of reorganizing. If I continued to work for the Milwaukee Railroad, it would mean moving to a different part of the country and being away from home five and a half days a week. This did not set well with Lavonne. She said, "I don't want you away from home that much. I would have to raise this child by myself. You must find another way of making a living."
We had lived in Elgin two years, and they had been pleasant years for the most part, but now it was on to Richard and Auntie's farm in Bloomington, Wis. LaVonne was experienced with farming and pleased with the move. We were both enthused with the new course our life had taken.
Our new surroundings posed a number of difficulties for Lew, however. She was now pregnant with our second child, complicated by extra responsibilities as a farm wife. This included such things as extra cooking for men, and the inconvenience of carrying the drinking water from the well that was located near the barn. She needed help, but we were not in a position to afford a hired girl.
Grandma Harris came to our rescue, and was extremely helpful to LaVonne. Grandma was up in years, but still able to do a great deal of work. They grew to be close friends. Grandma's help came at a critical time for Lew, because I was not in a position to be of much assistance to her. We had our hands full just getting our farm work done with machinery that was cheap and well used. It seemed we could never get caught up.
On top of everything else, Lew's pregnancy was showing some signs of not being normal. On a hot muggy July 6 her water broke, and mother Ada said, "You get to the hospital." We didn't think there was any hurry, but did as we were told. After being in the hospital for a couple of hours, Lew got out of bed and blood gushed all over the floor. She had placenta previa. Fortunately, Dr. Desslock was a good surgeon, rushed her into surgery, and performed a Caesarean section. We soon had a cute little blond girl, Kathryn Sue, but it had been a close call for both mother and daughter. Sandy now had a play and fight mate.
After returning home we hired a girl for two weeks to help LaVonne with the housework and in caring for the new baby. She was very tired from the surgery, and somewhat anemic. Grandmother Carrie again came to the rescue. We seemed to need all the help we could get.
Keeping the farm records, and paying the bills was an important part of her contribution to the farming operation. We had some money when we started farming, but these were not times of great prosperity. LaVonne had to manage the family funds well in order to provide for the needs of the family. The responsibilities of being a farm wife and mother were now becoming a real challenge to LaVonne.
After farming in Wisconsin for four years we decided that it would be necessary for us to improve the farm buildings to create a more profitable operation. Richard and Auntie neither wanted to sell the farm or invest a great deal of money in improvements.
Lew's parents told us that they planned to buy an adjoining farm. If we would move to Shannon, and help with the work of making improvements, they would sell the farm to us at a later date. It was another big decision, but we headed for Illinois enthused about the possibilities.
Lew was happy to be back with her family, and living in the area where she had been raised. Mother Iva was elated with our move. She would again have her daughter and close friend near her. They had great fun anticipating the renovation of the house that was soon to be our new home.
The little granddaughters became a real joy to their grand- parents. As the girls grew older, Grandpa and Grandma became particularly proud of their singing ability. Grandmother Iva took great pleasure in buying new dresses for the girls. Grandmother, Mother, and girls often took shopping trips to Freeport sometimes highlighted by lunch out or a hot dog and root beer at the downtown Kresge store. They had great fun. (It was evident after we moved to Shannon that mother Iva was having some difficulty using her arms, but not much was made of it.)
During our first year in Shannon the process of building and renovation was an on_going job. Every spare minute we weren't doing farm work, all hands were busy with the building projects. Not only did LaVonne enjoy planning the house remodeling, but more importantly she liked the house when it was finished. The house from the beginning was strong from a structural point, but not at all modern. The abstract of title would indicate that the house was built between the years of 1880_1884. Although our first year of farming in Illinois did not show much financial return we were confident that we had a good foundation for the future. Our home was nearly finished and the farming operation looked hopeful.
LaVonne did not object to washing the milking machines during our busy season, but she didn't like gathering and cleaning eggs. As a result our poultry enterprise was short_lived. Gardening was hard work for her, but she was still able to harvest a good supply of fresh vegetables. I was no help to her, and the daughters gardened under protest. (LaVonne, in her years of retirement has welcomed the chance to pass vegetable gardening duties to me, but still enjoys planting flowers around the house and using and preserving the vegetables I raise.)
For many years life seemed to be going on as one would expect. We were one big happy family. In late March of 1959, tragedy struck. LaVonne's brother, Bill died suddenly in the night from what could have been a heart attack or an aneurysm. He was Howard's fair haired boy. The family was devastated. He left a wife, Lois and two sons, David age 3, and Bob age 2.
It was hard for the family to believe that this young father could be taken so suddenly at the age of 32. David went into the closet, and wouldn't come out because he wanted his Dad. Howard and Iva were deeply saddened. Lew was pregnant with Susan, and needed medication to keep from going into labor. Bill and Jim had been constant companions, both at work and play. The responsibility of operating the home farm would now rest with Jim, a responsibility he did not feel well prepared for. Bill's death had shaken him to the core.
During the sorrowful spring of 1959, there was one bright star on the horizon. Our third child was to be born. LaVonne was now 35 years old, approaching the time when carrying a child was risky. I recall talking with our neighbor, Ronald Barnes over the fence one day. His wife Lois, the same age as LaVonne was having a baby due at about the same time. I inquired as to whether he was also taking vitamins.
Except for the trauma of Bill's death, LaVonne's pregnancy was normal. Since Kathy had been born Caesarean, this child would also be brought into the world by this method. The date had been set for May 15th. This had been a good corn planting year, and the planting was completed.
A big event was about to happen in our family. The sisters, Sandy, age 10, and Kathy, age 8 were excited and had been in charge of naming the baby. If it was a boy, it was to be Ronald Keith. If it was a girl, it would be Susan Lu. Everyone in school knew that on this day, they would have a new brother or sister. The communication system was in place. Aunt Nina was to be called. She in turn would go to Sandy's room, and Sandy would relay the news to Kathy.
Grandmother Ada came down while Lew was in the hospital and stayed about a week after Lew came home. Grandmother Iva was also on hand. The anesthetic had made LaVonne very sick, but she had no further complications. The sisters, as they were often called, were a big help in caring for their little Susan.
The family was still reeling from Bill's death, but our troubles were not over. Misfortune seemed to loom at the doorstep. Jim's little girl, Ann, born a few months before Susan, did not appear well. After months of poor health she was taken to Chicago in 1961 for a heart catheterization which was followed by surgery to correct a heart problem. She did not recover from the affects of the surgery, and died at the age of two. It was a horrible tragedy for this young couple. The family was again deep in the throes of grief.
That same winter, on an icy cold day, Mother Iva, suffered a severe heart attack. She recovered, but was never in good health again.
In the spring, on March 21, 1962 brother Ken dropped dead at 39 years of age of a heart attack while carrying a basket of baby pigs from the cattle yard. Lew said, "How are we going to tell Ma without losing her too?" Iva and Kenneth were very close. LaVonne and Kenneth had grown up together, and remained close over the years. They lived on adjoining farms. Kenneth left a wife Nina, and two sons, Wayne age 10, and Allen, age 5. Kenneth had just purchased an additional 220 acre farm. LaVonne was again faced with more tragedy, and more lives to be put back together.
After the sale of Kenneth's personal property, mother Iva showed signs of having a nervous break_down. The shock of losing her loved ones had been too much for her. She became afraid, unsure of herself, and very disoriented. With some additional cleaning help she was able to do her housework, but was not at peace. When it became clear that Iva was seriously disturbed, the family sought out the help of a psychiatrist. He provided psychological consultation and medication that did much for her peace of mind, but these were terribly difficult times for LaVonne. She watched her mother suffering with extreme mental anguish, but was unable to help her. The one thing she could do was to provide for her parents physical needs, and this she did with diligence and love. Lew would take hot meals to her parents which
they anxiously awaited. The girls and LaVonne often arrived at the grandparents' house with them sitting at the table, ready and waiting. They thoroughly enjoyed her meals. On the morning of May 5, 1966, Lew's mother Iva died very peacefully. LaVonne, Jim and Howard were at her side. She was now at rest.
Iva had been a very loving, unassuming mother and grandmother, and was always there for her family. When the girls were sick, their grandmother would come to the farm and care for them, bathing them off when they had fevers and generally offering consolation.
Both Howard and Iva had become avid spectators for their grandchildren's activities. They would drive distances to watch sports or music events. Iva never tired of giving and never complained. She was a soft woman living a hard life. Her hands were soft, her touch was gentle, and her heart was tender. In the end it had been broken too many times to mend.
Howard never seemed to be able to shake his grief at her loss. After a period of time, he married Ruth Folgate, an old high school friend. She had been a nurse, and he probably thought that she would care for him in his old age (he had a preoccupation with being placed in a nursing home). The adjustment to marriage at this age was difficult for both of them.
During a trip to Alaska in the fall of 1969, Howard experienced some angina, not an unusual symptom to him. He had felt that discomfort often in the last few months. The evening they returned home, he suffered a heart attack and died. His suitcases were still setting in the living room. (Dr. Mitchell was at his side. Howard and Iva both had always had great faith in this man, he had seen them through many medical difficulties.)
Howard had been a very successful farmer. He enjoyed seeing crops emerge in the spring, but particularly liked feeding cattle. Apart from farming, he still found time to be active in community affairs including school board, Farm Bureau, and the county board. Howard's children were very special to him. One of his main ambitions in life was to see that they "amounted to something". He was very diligent in pursuit of that goal. His family would be forever grateful for his hard work, his dedication to farming, and for his commitment to his children's future and well being.
LaVonne shed many tears during these years of frustration and sorrow. Her father's marriage to Ruth was very difficult for her to accept. No one could take her mother's place. Howard's estate was settled very peaceably in spite of the complications of a second wife, and the minor children of Bill and Kenneth. Much credit can be given to Nina Woessner Bocker, and to Lois and Dick Dambman.
Since the death of Harry Messner in the mid_1950's, Howard had taken over the responsibilities of handling Iva's sister, Carrie's affairs. This responsibility would now be handled by LaVonne. Aunt Carrie had lived in Chicago since 1924. They had no children. Aunt Carrie had worked at the Fair store in Chicago selling ladies' nylon stockings. She moved quickly, and talked incessantly, some of the qualities that made her a good sales woman. Aunt Carrie was very kind to Lavonne, and bought her our first riding lawn mower and dishwasher. She also told Lew many times that she had help from her family, but that LaVonne would never be able to help her own children. LaVonne has often said that she wishes she could show Aunt Carrie that indeed she has helped her children. Aunt Carrie's pet name for Lew was Bonnie. She told Lew over the years that she expected Lew to take care of her in her old age. Her answer was, "Aunt Carrie I will see that you are taken care of." LaVonne and Jim went to see her often while she lived in Chicago, taking her meat and whatever else she needed. She told us on one occasion that her neighbors didn't like our meat. She was trading it for favors. When she could no longer care for herself we brought her to Shannon where she lived in a nursing home for 15 years. LaVonne faithfully visited her there. She died at the age of 95.
Through the years of deep sorrow for LaVonne, life's responsibilities still went on. Her husband and daughters still expected her to provide a good and happy home. Meals had to be prepared, washing and cleaning to be done, farm bookkeeping, feed to be hauled from town, gardening, running the girls back and forth to town, helping with homework, lunches to be prepared for hired men, etc., etc. I am sure that her Christian faith helped her immensely.
Our annual get away with the family was something LaVonne always enjoyed. She looked forward to escape from the daily chore of cooking, and to staying in a motel where the daughters enjoyed the swimming pool. The approach to this little vacation exposes an interesting contrast between Lew and myself. Lew loved the anticipation of the adventure, and wanted plenty of notice as to when we would leave. I, on the other hand, preferred to "play it by ear". I would give as little as an hour or two of warning some years which did not please my wife. She always managed to pull things together, but was not happy with my method of dealing with trips.
LaVonne was an outstanding mother. Her role as mother and nurturer was undoubtedly the one dearest to her heart. Lew was fanatic in her desire for her family to have good nutritious meals on time. The daughters were at times poor eaters, and picked at their food. Breakfasts were an exercise in futility. LaVonne didn't think they should go to school with nothing in their stomachs. Susan was so bad at eating breakfast that against mother's better judgement she let her have Instant Breakfast. At other times when the girls were on a non_eating binge, she would give them tonics to improve their appetites. She strove to develop the girls physically and mentally, but most of all wanted them to be happy in life.
Lew diligently taught her children the responsibilities of the home, and was patient in instructing them to cook at a very early age Kathy could roll out a pie crust at age 5.
She had never become an accomplished pianist, but was determined that her daughters would learn to play the piano. She spent many hours taking them to piano lessons, and sat with them as they practiced. Eventually they were all good musicians. To make sure they continued with their musical ability, she provided the means for each daughter to purchase a piano.
Sandra and Kathy were very careful that one did not do more work than the other. I often wondered how she managed the patience she seemed to have with those girls. On one occasion, Grandfather Howard decided that he would measure the front yard so it could be equally divided. He believed that one of the girls had been given too much lawn to mow. Soon Mother was out telling Grandfather in no uncertain terms to put the tape away and that she would manage the work assignments without his help.
LaVonne had a strong Christian upbringing, so it was important to her that the girls attend Sunday School. LaVonne taught fourth grade Sunday school for 15 years.
School work was another priority, and as a result, the daughters never wanted for help with their homework. No matter how tired she was she saw that they were prepared for the next day. When the girls graduated from eighth grade, she insisted that we buy them a bedroom set of their own. I not only didn't think they needed it, but more importantly didn't think we could afford it. After all, they did have a place to sleep. If it pertained to the home or the family, however, she seldom lost an argument, and this was no exception.
The daughters were popular in school, and as a result, the dating age came before Lew was ready for it. She was happy for the girls, but it also caused her great concern if they were out later than the specified time. She was aware of their time of arrival, and if they were late she was not bashful about calling it to their attention.
Although she was pleased that the girls had decided to go to Naperville to college, leaving Sandra, and Kathy off at the dorms, each in their own times, caused some tears to come to the eyes. LaVonne spent long hours filling out applications for loans and scholarships. Fortunately, long- term, low interest loans for education were easy to obtain. Farm prices improved during this period of time, making sending the girls to college much easier than we had anticipated. She was proud to have her daughters go to North Central College. It was as much fun for them as it had been for her.
With the older girls off to college, little Susan played an important part in her mother's life, the nest was not yet empty. She was still needed to provide her all_important job of mothering. Susan enjoyed learning to cook and bake, and her mother was a willing teacher. Susan would often scold her mother for baking something she could have baked.
Daughters getting married has always been a problem for mothers. So it was with LaVonne. She had definite ideas as to what she wanted to do for them when they got married. They were expected to have a nice wedding gown, a church wedding, followed by a modest reception at the church. She also expected to give them some financial help in buying furniture for their home. As the older girls left the nest, Mother adjusted, but when our little Susan left it was another story. The affect of Susan's departure after her marriage was further complicated by my health.
My heart attack on Dec. 6, 1978 was a severe blow to LaVonne's security blanket. She contemplated big problems. What will I do if he dies? How can I handle this farm? The silos are filled with feed, and the cattle and hog yards are filled with livestock. Brother Jim had experienced a heart attack the year before, and was not anxious or able to take on added responsibilities. She was worried about my recovery and ability to carry on the farming
operation. She wanted us to get out of farming as soon as possible. I wanted to try and work my way back. This difference caused the most serious conflict in the history of our marriage. LaVonne was depressed and despondent. She could see no need for us to continue to farm. We brought the operation to a close in the fall of 1984__a happy day for LaVonne__a sad day for me.
We have been able to rent the farm land and continue to live in our home for over 30 years. One of Lew's ambitions in life was to raise a good family. This responsibility she took very seriously. She continues to be fanatically loyal to those she loves, and vindictive against those who infringe upon that love. All of our daughters are good homemakers, reflecting the teachings of their mother. LaVonne believed that when the girls woke up in the morning, they needed to have a list of the jobs which needed to be done that day. This might include, mowing the lawn, washing the milking machines, hauling feed from town, baking, or cleaning the kitchen floor. I'm sure these were good tidings to their ears after they had been out late the night before. The years have not changed her in that respect, for I dare not stand around in the kitchen if I don't want to be assigned one of the kitchen duties. She is not the type that would say, "Stay out of the kitchen. I don't want you getting in the way." She still likes cooking, and thoroughly enjoys buying groceries and having an ample supply of food in reserve. This she learned from her parents at a very early age.
Ties with her extended family remain strong. The brothers Ken and Bill are no longer with us, but their wives, sons and second husbands still enjoy getting together. Brother Jim, and his wife Carol are very special to her. They have talked over and supported each other through many troubled times.
Teaching is still an important part of her life. She is
a volunteer literacy tutor for a big, six foot, red headed, 26 year old man. This has been a real challenge to her, and an insight into the younger generation. When she started with this student, he could not read at a first grade level, but after 3 1/2 years of hard work has reached a 3rd or 4th grade reading level ability.
Exercise has become an important part of her daily routine. She has been walking one mile a day for the last 20 years. LaVonne has become an enthusiastic believer in exercising in water, and seldom misses her Aquasize class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This exercising program started following her knee surgery to repair torn cartilage, and correct stretched tendons and muscles incurred while she was in traction at the tender age of 8.
LaVonne's retirement years have been much as she wished, very active and involved. Church activities continue to be important to her, including Bible studies, Circle, and activities of the Women's Society. She is also active in Home Extension. Sitting and waiting for fish to bite on a hook does not fit her personality, but she loves it. Taking a bus trip with Tri_State Tours is a real treat for her, and we manage one or two each year. There is little to worry about, but after we have been gone for about three days, she wants to buy the grandchildren everything in sight. It is fortunate that we are allowed only two suitcases.
The trials of her life have left their mark on LaVonne, but for the most part she has managed to turn them into assets rather than liabilities. She gives support for anyone experiencing hard times. LaVonne takes food to the sick, visits people in the hospital, sends innumerable cards - birthday and anniversary, get well, etc., etc. (Too bad she doesn't own stock in Hallmark!), and just generally does what she can to be of help. She also works hard at maintaining our healthy bodies. Even though she is somewhat limited in her activities, she exercises faithfully, eats well, and is amazingly active for her age.
Life is not always sunshine and roses. There are times of jubilation, hard work, disappointment, and sorrow. LaVonne has experienced the whole spectrum of these feelings. She could have become crippled, frustrated and unhappy. Her years of suffering could have made her bitter and sullen, but this was not for her. Time heals the wounds. The scars are there, but they have not remained open sores that have adversely affected her attitude or personality. She continues to enjoy all that life has to offer. She continues to smile.